Families can be messy things. However, they are also an opportunity to form life-long relationships filled with love.
Building a Better Relationship with Your Child
Any good relationship begins with getting to know the other person. Take time to get to know your child. Take an interest in their passions and encourage them. Help them to identify and fill their individual needs. Remember that life can be really frustrating and confusing for your kids as their minds and bodies rapidly grow and change. At the end of the day, the important thing is to let your child know that you genuinely care about them by showing your love through your words and actions.
Don't take your kids for granted. They will grow up faster than you know. In some cases, however, they may not grow up. Watch the video below to learn a valuable lesson from a father who lost his son to suicide.
Build a Better Relationship with Your Spouse
Your relationship with your spouse will be a model for your kids. Even if you are divorced or your spouse has passed away, you can still show respect for them based on how you talk about them. Speaking poorly of a divorced spouse may cause children to feel resentful or defensive. A deceased spouse can still be remembered and loved as you share memories and stories with your children.
However, if you and your spouse are still married, take time to build your marriage. In his book Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart, William J. Doherty teaches about the importance of marriage rituals. Some of these rituals will be for special occasions such as anniversaries, birthdays, and Valentine's Day. Others may be weekly or monthly, such as having a regular date night. However, the majority of your marriage and your relationship will be impacted on a day-to-day basis. Develop healthy rituals that you can practice each day, such as greeting each other warmly after work, going to bed together, and taking time for quality conversation.
Build a Better Relationship with Yourself
Just as your relationship with your spouse will serve as a model for your children, who you are will also impact them. Consider the kind of people you hope your children will one day become and try to be that person. You will lead by example through everything you do or say. So don't be afraid to apologize and to work on yourself.
If you are struggling with insecurities, trauma, anxiety, depression, or anything else, please ask for help. In some cases, you may find support through friends and family. However, you may also need to seek help from a professional. Being the best you will help all of your relationships.
The Parenting Pyramid
By now, you have likely realized that your relationships are all connected when it comes to families. This is part of a model called the Parenting Pyramid, which you can learn more about here:
Developing family relationships can be difficult and take time. Sometimes you may find yourself frustrated. No matter what you do, you just can't get along. There is still hope. Keep working on yourself and your other relationships. Your actions will speak just as loudly as your words to help your family know that you love them.
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