Gender Dysphoria & The Choices Parents Make

 

"None of us were going to be men; we were fleeing from the uncomfortable feeling of becoming women." -Chloe Cole 

A transitioned child is better than a dead child. This is something a number of parents have been told after learning their child struggles with gender dysphoria. They are told their options are gender-affirming care or suicide. This was the case with Chloe's parents.

Chloe went through the process of transitioning from female to male from ages 13 to 16. She later chose to detransition, now reflecting on her experience with hormones and surgery by saying, 

"I was unknowingly physically cutting off my true self from my body irreversibly and painfully."

Chloe now openly advocates against gender-affirming care. Watch the following video to hear her speak and learn more about her story:

Chloe was just one child, but her journey represents a much larger issue: gender dysphoria. This issue impacts individuals, families, and society as a whole. Worst of all, it impacts children and teens--and their parents who may not know the whole story.

The research around transitioning is unclear at best. The truth is that there is simply a lot we don't know. Even with the existing research, methodology and funding may sometimes lead to skewed results and contradictory findings. Some studies report great success with gender-affirming care while others, like this one suggest that transsexual individuals who have undergone sex reassignment surgery had an overall higher mortality rate than the rest of the population. Suicide was a significant part of that, even though these individuals had received gender-affirming care.

Gender dysphoria is highly concerning because it is associated with poor mental health. This research review looked at five studies and found that, across these studies, about half of individuals diagnosed with gender dysphoria were also diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder at some point in their life with mood, anxiety, and substance use/abuse disorders being the most common. According to Psychology Today, individuals experiencing gender dysphoria often experience low self-esteem and isolation.

Children and adolescents are already in a vulnerable time of life as they are trying to form an identity and understand who they are in relation to the rest of the world. Perhaps gender-affirming care may save some of their lives, but it may also leave them scarred and filled with regrets--or may not save them at all. They aren't necessarily developmentally prepared to make life-altering decisions like this, especially when they don't have all of the information. Moreover, their parents may not be in a position to defend them or make educated decisions. 

The New York Post describes how some schools have taken to teaching gender ideology without parents even knowing. In extreme cases, this can lead to schools or even the government lying to or cutting off parents when it comes to their child's gender identity. 

As a parent, it's crucial that you educate yourself. Learn more about the policies in your area and with your school. Attend meetings and advocate for your position and your child. 

If applicable, learn about mental health professionals in your area and how they approach gender dysphoria. If your child is experiencing gender dysphoria, educate yourself about gender-affirming care and the impacts of any treatment your child might receive. Remember that treatment isn't black or white, and there is a chance your child may very well learn to love themselves and the body they are in. 

However, most importantly, build your relationship with your child. Take their thoughts and concerns seriously, and help them to recognize that you care about them and their well-being. Teach them that they can trust you with the small things so that when it comes to big things like gender dysphoria they know they can turn to you. Raising a child who knows they are loved is the ultimate decision a parent can make.

References

Dhejne, C., Lichenstein, P. Boman, M. Johansson, A. L.,  Langstrom, N., Landen, M. (February 

22, 2011). Long-term follow-up of transsexual persons undergoing sex reassignment surgery: Cohort study in Sweden. Plos One. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0016885

Freitas, L. D., Léda, R. G., Bezerra, F. S., & Miranda, S. Â. (2020). Psychiatric disorders in 

individuals diagnosed with gender dysphoria: A systematic review. Psychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences, 74(2), 99–104. https://doi.org/10.1111/pcn.12947

Gender Dysphoria. (October 25, 2021). Psychology Today. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/gender-dysphoria

McCaughey, B. (December 22, 2021). How Public Schools Brainwash Your Child with Harmful 

Transgender Ideology. The New York Post. https://nypost.com/2021/12/22/how-public-schools-brainwash-young-kids-with-harmful-transgender-ideology/